Comments following the performance

Yesterday I played the clarinet as the 'special music' at a local church service. For these kinds of performances I usually choose an arrangement of a hymn. Yesterday's selection was 'Blessed Assurance.' I'm quite sure that several of the young people didn't know this hymn because they usually sing only praise choruses (topic for another journal entry). Anyway, I gave a brief history on the hymn and the author of the lyrics, and spoke about the scriptural reference. I will say that the piece came together extremely well, and I feel that it was a worshipful experience. Following the service, I encountered three types of responses. First, several of the 'senior' ladies told me that the music brought them to tears (in a good way, of course); then, there were three young girls who came up to me and said "we play clarinet at school, but we don't sound like THAT!" And, finally, the adults that were about my age all said that their memory of the clarinet consisted of 'constant squeeking.' Well, praise the Lord that I didn't squeek. So I guess everyone enjoyed it.

Also at church, I got to play with a 10-month-old baby who was adopted at birth (domestic adoption). She is a cutie....round, rosy cheeks and chubby legs....and very happy. It was nice to get a 'baby' fix.

An Encounter

Yesterday, Mom and I went to Jefferson Pointe, Fort Wayne to endulge in some shopping therapy. We were just leaving the Vera Bradley story (a weakness of mine) when I spotted a caucasian couple carrying a Chinese baby (they had just entered the store). I stopped in my tracks, and practically ran toward the couple (I hope I didn't scare them) to find out if they, in fact, adopted from China. As it turns out, they had just returned with their 11-month-old beautiful girl two weeks ago from China. They named her Ridley. She was precious and very tiny, even for an 11-month-old. She seemed shy but gave her mommy and daddy a big smile.

I told them that I was currently waiting for my placement with a log-in date of 4/13/07. The mom very quickly said "Oh, well, you've got another 2 1/2 years to wait." She then asked me if I read the "Rumor Queen" online (sidebar......for those that are not aware, the Rumor Queen is a site where you can read about what the latest rumors are about China adoptions. While there is some truth in the Rumor Queen, it is not all truth). I told her that I chose not to read the Rumor Queen, but I was a member of an China Adoption email group. While I was thrilled to see this happy family and see this precious baby girl, I was just a little miffed. Now, I do stay current on the news about how slow China adoptions are.....I'm not so naive to think that I'll be traveling to China anytime soon. And, no one knows for sure just how long this will take. But, I choose not to focus on the negative in terms of wait time. This couple really wanted to focus on how LONG I would be waiting. I just wanted to bask in the beauty of this baby and talk about her.....how she was adjusting.....how was their trip, etc.

So, it was SO nice to see this beautiful baby who had just come home. She looked healthy and happy. And, I guess I'll choose not to infiltrate my head with negativity....or as this couple put it.... 'a reality check.' I'm in this China adoption journey for the long hawl. Whether it takes one more year or three years....I'll wait....because I know this is what God has chosen for me. It is my daily challenge to trust Him and his plan for me. The positive side of this wait is that it gives me more time to prepare....financially, and otherwise. Yes, I'd love to be planning that trip to China right now, but I can wait. Gosh, that baby was beautiful.

It's the February Blahs

Since I haven't written on the blog in awhile, I thought I better get going. Life has been quite eventful in the last several weeks. My children's choir was selected to sing at the Indiana Music Educators Association State Convention on January 19. The above picture show us relaxing just before the performance. It was a wonderful experience for the kids and for me....but quite stressful. The kids were terrific and gave a great concert. There were at least 350 in attendance, and that is great for this kind of event.

Since the convention, school has been difficult, but I'm hoping that things turn the corner. Right now, I pretty much dedicate my life to my students.....so when something doesn't go well at school I let it 'get to me.' I've taught for 27 years, and I still love it. And, every now and then there are difficulties to deal with. So... I've just gotten past one of those humps and I'm trying to focus on the rest of the semester with classes, wind ensemble tour to NYC and Washington, D.C. area. Something that has really been encouraging to me is the contact I'm receiving from so many former students on Facebook. It has been wonderful to get so many wonderful messages from them. I guess I've done OK by them.

One more attempt at adopting a 'waiting child' has passed. My name was not drawn "out of a hat' (so to speak) again. Sometimes my patience wears thin, but I've got to remember that I have put this in God's hands. That means that I can't go wrong, and God will bring Caroline to me in His time.

Waiting Children - Precious Children

A new list (with pictures) of waiting children was posted on the CHI (my adoption agency's) website. These are children that currently have medical issues, or had medical issues that have been repaired. These are precious children who are considered 'special needs.' In the U.S., most of these situations are not considered special needs, and are just situations that need to be dealt with before going on with a normal life. On this list, most of the children are babies, many with cleft lips/palates that still need to be repaired; there are several with congenital heart disease that has been repaired, or eye conditions that have been repaired.

There are four little girls that 'speak to me' on that list. I have completed applications on them. These girls range in age from 1 1/2 to 4 years-old. One little angel had a heart defect repaired, another was just born premature, another had an ovarian cyst removed, and the last had a cleft lip/palate repaired. They are all beautiful girls and I would be blessed to have any of them.

Now I wait to see if my name will be 'drawn' from the pool of applicants for each child. If my name is drawn I will be notified immediately, then will have seven days to review her medical file. I have applied for several waiting children before, and my name has not been drawn. So, I'm waiting to find out if this is God's plan for me to have have one of these girls. Caroline, are you on this list?

It is so hard not to get attached to these children, even from a picture. It is so hard not to get your hopes up that your name might be drawn. This is what I'm facing. I go to the website and just stare at the little angels, and hope that one of them might be Caroline. I just have to wait it out, and wait for God to reveal his plan to me.

I'm proud of these kids

My children's choir, 'The Heart of Indiana Children's choir' performed with the Marion Philharmonic Orchestra on Dec. 8. They performed four John Rutter Christmas Carols with the orchestra and did a terrific job. We are gearing up for our next performance at the Indiana Music Educators Association State Convention on January 19. I just had to share.

Happy New Year

I received an email today informing me that Children's Hope International (my adoption agency) just received 6 China referrals (adoption placements) - six girls ranging in age from 2 1/2 to 4 for adoptive families with a log-in date of Dec. 19, 2005. This is a good way to end 2007. That's the positive spin on things.....the negative spin on things is that in the year 2007, there were only 3 months worth of referrals, meaning that for example, referrals (or placements) only occurred for people with log-in dates from say Oct 1, 2005 through Dec. 19, 2005. For someone like me with a log-in date of April 13, 2007, this means that I'm in for a very long wait.....that's the negative spin. The positive spin is that each day that passes is one day closer to Caroline. For now I'm going to stick to the positive spin on things.