heart-wrenching offer

Recently I attended a picnic that was given by the adoption agency that conducted my homestudy (not my China adoption agency). Those attending were trans-cultural adoptions or international adoptions (mostly from Haiti). It was great to see these families that were so happy and seemingly well-adjusted. Most of the adopted kids were from two to eight-years-0ld. Of course, I was childless (but not motherless....Mom went with me)....and I wore my t-shirt that says "Waiting for my daughter from China".....complete with a flag of China and the U.S. flag (thank you CafePress.com for selling these adoption t-shirts). Everyone was very supportive and kind; these people truly understand the heart-felt desire to adopt as well as the process to get there.

After the meal, my social worker (who I think is SO GREAT), sat down beside me and asked if he could talk to me for a minute. I was a little concerned - usually that kind of question means that there is a problem....I guess I'm too paranoid. Anyway, he then asked me if I would consider domestic adoption (kids from the U.S.). I told him that I certainly did consider it, but felt strongly that God had called me to adopt from China. He proceeded to share the story of a 19-year-old girl that was pregnant....she had been in foster care herself, and was now pregnant and unmarried. Her baby is due in December. He asked me if I would consider taking this child! Oh, I cannot put into words the feeling that I had when he asked me this question; suffice it to say that it was a heart-wrenching feeling. The idea that I could actually have a newborn baby in December was intense. My social worker went on to say that the girl wanted her baby to go to a single mother because she did not believe that men could be trusted; my heart immediately went out to this young pregnant girl.

I told my social worker that I have had such a strong connection to China and to my yet-unknown daughter Caroline.....I've already developed a love relationship with her. Yet, I told him that I would not close that door and would certainly pray for God's guidance in this matter. I certainly want to listen to God's leading, even if it means changing directions. I could not stop thinking about this pregnant teen, and did pray about it. After much thought and prayer, I still believe that my daughter is in China. Perhaps this experience even strengthened that feeling. Then, after a couple of weeks passed, my social worker called to tell me that the young girl had decided to keep her baby.

Thinking about this experience still causes me to tear up. It was a feeling of validation to know that the social worker came to me first when this pregnant 19-year-old came to him. He has told me that he believes I will be a wonderful mom. It helped me to believe it, too. Life is so precious...and it is such a privilege to be a precious child's momma.........I know that God has a special child chosen for me. Each day is one day closer to finding out who she is. But, I still think about this 19-year-old who will be giving birth to an innocent baby.....who is in fact, a child herself with a complicated and difficult past. I continue to pray for her.